Sunday, April 13, 2008



On Stupidity and the thinning of the herd.






Today I would like to take a moment to lower my head, (you do the same thing) to pray for all of those on our planet who are so STUPID. I would also (at this moment) like to thank the Virgin Mary, pictured for you heathens who know nothing of Mary, (Jeez) for personally assisting in the picking and choosing of those who are being selected for immediate thinning from the herd.
Now please, before you get offended, I am only saying that SOMEONE has to pray for these idiots on our planet who do dumb things and then die. I also firmly believe that there has to be some Saint out there somewhere who is responsible for sitting at some helm with a giant dashboard of blinking lights who gets to pick and choose which bonehead is coming home to stay today. I choose The Virgin Mary for this great honor.I mean c'mon. She's the only one who (apparently) didn't choose to do something (have sex) and then wind up having to deal with consequences of an action she took. After all, no one even asked her, they just told her right? "Hey Lady, guess what, you're preggers! woohoo!" If it had been me, my first thought would have been, "What the F....., oh wait, nope, I didn't even do THAT!".



So that's why she gets to choose in my humble opinion.


I write this today solely because of an article I read on AOL this morning as I sipped my coffee. "Extreme Skier Dies After Tragic Plunge". I immediately paused after reading this. WTF?
Shouldn't that say

EXTREME SKIER DIES EXPECTEDLY AFTER PLANNED PLUNGE

Holy Mary Full of Grace, I promise to try to make good decisions today. I will not jump off of buildings for no real apparent reason, nor will I attempt to beat a red light in my car just for the hell of it. I will wear a condom if I (please please please) get the chance to have sex and I promise not to blame anyone else if I die because I smoke cigarettes. Amen.

Please be careful out there everybody. The Virgin Mary is Watching.

No comments: